WorldTour Wrap: how to tell your Teuns from your Theuns

Plus bad boy Boom in bother and 'young and beautiful' Sagan

The Vuelta a España begins on Saturday in Nîmes and the lineup is looking particularly stellar. Which means, with a lot of big names indisposed, the week just gone has thrown up some unexpected winners, exciting days in the saddle and plenty of WTF moments.

The UCI WorldTour resumed with the BinckBank Tour (or Eneco Tour, for those still living like it’s 2016), while the Arctic Race of Norway and Colorado Classic couldn’t help but steal a few headlines too.

Tom Dumoulin bags the big BinckBank bounty (pic – Sirotti)

Giro d’Italia champion Tom Dumoulin bagged the big BinckBank bounty, while the Arctic Race went to a Belgian whose name sounds like ‘turns’ (more on that later).

But first, this Colorado Classic oddness was much worthier of our collective attention…

You don’t need a turbo for this warm-up

Hopefully this week’s WolrdTour wrap will get you feeling ready to take on the week like Justin Oein…

…or Rigoberto Uran…

I am young and beautiful

Back at the BinckBank, and here’s noted shrinking violet Peter Sagan coming out of his shell…

We just wish Sagan could show more of his confident side and spend less time in the shadow of his Bora teammate and massive personality, Rafal Majka.

Jeez, Rafal, let Peter get a word in edgewise.

Norway is, like, SO Norway this year

The Arctic Race of Norway is famed for being one of the more scenic races in the calendar. The organisers are also not afraid of playing up to the odd stereotype here or there, awarding 500kg of salmon as one of the race prizes in the past.

Well, this year the race out-Norwayed itself once again. Our favourite stunningly picturesque vista? How about this from Friday’s stage…

The Arctic Race of Norway saves money on barriers…

Expect tourism numbers to really take off next year (though seriously, Norway is a beautiful place to ride your bike).

Brabant bad boy, Boom, in BinckBank bother

Dutch Lotto NL-Jumbo rider, Lars Boom, got himself in hot water this week when he made an obscene gesture as he crossed the line for the win on stage five of the BinckBank Tour.

Boom has had a pretty torrid season and put the display down to an over-spilling of emotion at finally nailing a win after some disappointing results. Boom was fined CHF1000 for the outburst, which is a considerable sum, even for a pro bike rider.

Lars Boom shows what a 1000 CHF celebration looks like (pic – Sirotti)

It’s not as much as Mark Cavendish, however, who once flipped a two-finger salute to the media and paid CHF6000 for the privilege.

If you’re wondering what the full price list for offensive gestures is, we have uncovered this ‘leaked memo’ from the UCI.

Offence                                 Price
Asking a girl out                   100
Blowing a raspberry            200
The ‘up yours’ arm               1000
Two-finger salute                 6000
Flipping the bird                   8000
Dabbing                                 10000

Nobody knows why the prices are in Swiss francs, or why Brian Cookson hates dabs so much.

Dylan Turns it up a notch

Dylan Teuns continued his brilliant form in one-week stage races to claim the title at the Arctic Race this weekend, adding it to wins in Poland last week and at the Tour of Wallonie earlier in the year.

And yet, that’s still not enough to get him the recognition he really deserves.

BMC Racing’s Dylan Teuns… (pic – Sirotti)

Amazingly, despite their drastically different palmarès, we hear reports that some fans are still getting Dylan Teuns and BinckBank Tour stage winner Edward Theuns confused.

So, to help out, here’s our handy cut-out-and-keep guide to telling your Teuns from your Theuns.

…and Trek-Segafredo’s Edward Theuns. The chalk to his cheese (pic – Sirotti)

How to tell Dylan Teuns and Edward Theuns apart

  • Teuns is a mere 181cm tall, while Theuns stands at a towering 183cm.
  • Theuns is a wizened 26-year-old, while ‘baby face’ Teuns is just 25.
  • Teuns wears the red and black of BMC Racing, while Theuns competes in the black-with-red of Trek-Segafredo.
  • Theuns was born in Ghent, Belgium, while Teuns is from Diest, Belgium, a staggering 57 miles away.
  • Theuns’ favourite ice cream is a milk chocolate Magnum, while Teuns prefers white chocolate Magnums.
  • Teuns began his career at Jong Vlaanderen-Bauknecht, while Theuns’ first team was Topsport Vlanderen-Baloise.

They really are chalk and cheese.


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